What's Smokin?! interview: "Know the Member" with bench!
By The Interviewer

Well, well, well! Welcome one and all to the newest episode of KNOW THE MEMBER! If that's how this series was called anyway - I don't really remember anymore.

I was under the impression I had retired for good in my cave. I was forgotten, locked away here by The Law ever since the last What's Smokin?! episode - that was a looong loong time ago...
...and now he thinks he can crawl back into my little cave and ask me to return to making new interviews for this new website!

Well, he's right. I'm back and doing OLD interviews! Because it seems the whole group is now nostalgia-based - something about "uno mas". Whatever it means.
Before I hold this interview with someone I already invited to my cave before, and am therefore not really able to learn something new about him - I want to tell something to all the haters. I hear you saying "HE IS BEING TREATED LIKE A DOG! WHY IS HE BACK THERE WORKING ON INTERVIEWS WITHOUT PAYMENT?".
To that, I must say I am indeed not getting any payment of the traditional form. I'm getting something worth much more than 4.99 - and that is [REDACTED].

With that being said, let's start this "Uno Mas!" interview with our member bench - who was the first member I ever interviewed!

The Interviewer: Hello bench, welcome to my cave! How are you feeling tonight?

bench: Yes, hi.

The Interviewer: How are you feeling?

bench: I'm feeling like a person being interviewed.

The Interviewer: Tell me, how does it feel to be interviewed again - especially when there are people that never got interviewed and may never be interviewed like for example... hmm... Soulmyr?

bench: It's like having an exam but you don't get to put it in your CV.

The Interviewer: Interesting!
Okay, let's get to the important questions. As you know I'm afraid of nothing and will ask the most uncomfortable questions in the most broken english possible for confusion - because I know Mauritsio is going to polish it later on anyway. How do I know he is going to polish it? I saw him looking at [REDACTED] - he's getting the same payment I have...

Mauritsio: EXCUSE ME RO-

Now, I see you here bench, sitting in front of me - but there is something different about you! I see a big fat nosed poo poo head with a stupid hat. Tell me, what happened to the bald kid that was your avatar - and why was he bald, not to mention the mustache and big googly eyes! Is that what a normal baby should look like?

bench: You see, I am fairly certain the bulli era was 100% caused by that pusi emote - so I decided it was time for a change. Now I feel like a free man. And for the other question... Coke and bulli does that to you.

The Interviewer: Okay, but with the recent announcement of the return of so many classic events - and eventually, returning members joining in on that celebration - please tell the readers: will we see the bald kid once more?! UNO MAS?

bench: Maybe he'll show up, if you're nice enough.

The Interviewer: Sounds good. Now for a more silly question - we've had enough serious stuff. Tell me which old event you are looking forward to the most, to see the group experience it once more.

bench: Obvious answer would be SNOW, but there are just too many great events I'm looking forward to playing again. My fondest memories are of non-Sam events, especially Sven. Sven's always been great.

The Interviewer: What makes Snow that special for you?

bench: Well, it's the greatest game the group has ever played. In fact it was so great I took the opportunity to schedule events for it years in advance before I let go off my admin powers. I think there's still one scheduled for 2023 or something.

The Interviewer: What do you think about the "UNO MAS!" theme in general - revisiting old events one more time before we probably give up on most of them forever - while some we will start playing frequently again, depending on the reactions of members?

bench: It's nice really. We have plenty of newer members who have become an important part of the group who never got to experience some of the earlier events. At least now they get to experience the greatness that SNOW was first hand. I also kinda hope for more Sven events to come out of this. People got to remember how amazing Crack-Life or They Hunger were!

The Interviewer: As we know, around 7Smoke's birthday, we see a lot of old members coming back to say hi. Is there a possibility we will see your brother boonx return for one or two events this year? And is there perhaps some old member you would love to see again?

bench: There's a possibility boonx might join. He plays underground from time to time still, so he's not completely gone missing. I'd love to see Danker again, I wonder where he went.

The Interviewer: Aaaah yes, Danka! I think he is still butthurt that he got demoted back in 2014... oh well.

bench: He should never have received power in the first place. At least Roy wouldn't make the same mistake today.

The Interviewer: Now, now! He can make a lot of mistakes but letting a Mexican jump over the group wall isn't one of those!
Okay, back to a more serious topic. You were interviewed exactly 14 months ago. How did your life change? Do people stop you on the streets asking for autographs or do they often take pictures of you in the park?

bench: My life... is mostly the same, except I'm getting paid to not attend events.
People do take pictures of me all the time. You can see it for yourself in 7bench's #benchpics.

The Interviewer: That is good to hear bench.
How is Tennis 5 going? Share your experience working on it with us.

bench: I signed up for Tennis 5 when I had a lot of free time expecting it to be out on shelves by the end of that year's summer. Here we are almost a year and a half later and I only just recently finished my map. I sadly didn't have the time to do everything I wanted to do in this Tennis but I feel like I did everything that was expected of me. It's nice being done with my part, now I can just sit in the Tennis chat and keep asking Noam whether Tennis is out yet.
on a side note: Is Tennis out yet?

The Interviewer: Well, you know, maybe the next time I interview you in 2020 - Tennis 5 might just be out and I may just ask if you enjoyed it!You know what, let's just schedule another interview for March 5th 2020 right now! What do you think!

bench: Sure thing, I cannot wait to tell you about all the things that stayed exactly the same as they are now.

The Interviewer: Great!
Well, I must say we had a good interview bench! Thanks for coming back in my cave - see you in 2020 again if we still have electricity by then... and to you, my dear readers: see you... hmm... I have no idea when I'll be seeing you again! Could be monthly interviews - could be daily - could be weekly! HMMMMM! Stay shocked, stay surprised and remember: there is always an UNO MAS!

...Oh, oh! I forgot something - I'm getting old!
You can say anything to the readers as a goodbye, bench.

bench: Never pee unless you have to.